We're going on holiday!!!

Yes. Finally. After 4 and a half years we’re going on an overseas holiday. Leaving in a few days, we’re going on a cruise to Bali, Malaysia, Thailand and Singapore, then getting on a plane and spending a few days in Vietnam.

So, watch this space for the further hilarious adventures of Andy and Song.

Day 5 - on our way home

I was ill during the night; seems I can’t go on holiday without getting sick. Had a headache, sore throat and blocked nose plus a mild fever. Didn’t feel like Covid, not a dry sore throat and no cough.

I went out to get a coffee and some paracetamol, then went back to the hotel and made the most of the 11:00 checkout and left the hotel at 10:55, dropping the bags and went to get something to eat. 

Song wanted Pho but I fancied eggs Benedict so we split up and went to different places. Decided to head to the airport early since it was too hot to do anything and we’d only end up sitting in the hotel lobby or in the shopping centre, so better to be at the airport.

So that was our short trip to Cairns. I was impressed with Cairns - I’d expected it to be a bit tacky with loads of drunk 20 somethings roaming around, but it wasn’t like that. There were lots of decent up market places to eat, and also burger places and pubs. Maybe we were already back in the hotel when the unruly crowds were out and about, but we didn’t hear anything either.

I don’t think we’ll be back - I’ve been 4 times and Song can’t go out to the reef, so nothing else to do here. It was nice to get away from the Melbourne weather for a few days.

Day 4 - Karunda scenic railway and rainforest

Woke up at 0800, slept like a log. Out at 0945 to get to the train station, stopping for a coffee and a terrible croissant from Muffin Break.

Got to the station, a big queue because for some reason they don’t allow payment online in advance although you can book. We had paid for Gold Class on the way up which meant comfy seats and a small plate of food. We were coming back Heritage class because the later train didn’t have Gold. Heritage class was wooden bench seats so Song decided to buy a cushion for the way back because the trip was 2 hours. 

The train was due to leave at 0930 but there were late comers as usual and they were subjected to the Andy Horne stare of disapproval. Eventually left at 0940.

Weather was fantastic, blue skies and about 25C although a bit humid. The train didn’t have air conditioning (might have spoilt the historical aspect) but there was a refreshing breeze with the windows open. Song said the train must be over 100 years old - now that I’ve hit 60 that’s not particularly impressive. Stopped to pick up more people and the food staff and the carriage filled up.

Lots of views over the canyon and across valleys, past a couple of waterfalls including one where we stopped for 10 minutes to take photos. This was the third time I’ve been on this train; once with a mate when I first came to Australia in 1993, once in 2012 when I came to see a total eclipse and now. I’d also done the cable car three times, and this was my 4th time in Karunda. Unless I get married again it will probably be my last.

Decided it was a bit early for a beer so opted for a soft drink to go with the savoury muffin, Anzac biscuit and some other nibble.

Got off the train and wandered into the village, it was very busy. Lots of tourists and souvenir shops, cafes and art galleries. Found a cafe but were told it was a 40 minute wait for food so went to a German sausage place and had one each. We had to wait a while and were subjected to a speaker blasting out 80s disco tunes - actually German 80s disco tunes which was worse. Food was ok, we didn’t feel like much. Wandered along and grabbed a coffee then walked to pick up the bus to take us to the rainforest tour.

The tour was in an ex army amphibious truck from 1944 which was the slowest vehicle I’ve ever been in, but the idea wasn’t to speed through. The tour guide was the typical lame joke cracking one (life jackets are $5 today ha ha) but it’s what you expect. The tour was good, saw some dangerous plants, a bird, a couple of lizards and a turtle. It sounds dull but was good, relaxing and the weather great. There was an American teenager sat next to me who spent most of the tour on her phone looking at instagram. Luckily Song wasn’t sick as the truck entered the lake. Got on the bus back to the station and then on the train back to the hotel. Decided to upgrade to Gold Class on the way back as well because the other seats were too hard and the carriages very busy. It also meant I could have a beer after all my hard work. In fact, I had two and we were served a cheese platter and a dip plus mango sorbet.

Crashed at the hotel for about 30 minutes before heading out for dinner at a seafood restaurant (for a change) just a 5 minute walk from the hotel. Feeling a bit full from the train food, I decided to just have an entree of clam and bacon chowder and share the seafood plate with Song, and also skip the beer.

Day 3 - Reef trip

Woke up at 0700, bit tired, got ready and left for the boat, stopping for a coffee on the way. Got on board with plenty of time to spare, got a good seat by the window and scowled at the people who were late.

The weather was decent, warm but a bit cloudy, hopefully it would be nice out on the reef.

The boat took about an hour and a half to get to the reef spot, a pontoon moored on the reef where they had an area sectioned off for snorkeling, a glass bottomed boat and a semi-submersible that hopefully wouldn't implode. The water was a bit choppy to start, then we cleared the land that was acting as a shelter and it got very choppy.

They brought out some pastries but Song was starting to feel a bit unwell so I had mine and hers, and went up for a third when they left the tray on the counter.

For most of the trip Song was very ill, as was about half the boat. The crew were obviously used to this because as soon as the boat started pitching about they were all standing ready with sick bags and tissues (and cups of ice which supposedly helped), rushing to hand them out and collecting the full ones. I bet they didn't think this was part of a marine biologist's or tour guide's job. I have to say they were fantastic - a lot of people were throwing up and they were very attentive and efficient. 

Luckily I was fine - I don't suffer from travel sickness and can't remember ever being sick on a boat or plane. I felt very sorry for Song, she was really bad. I thought that we also had the same trip back but thought it best not to bring it up (so to speak). Luckily Song hadn't eaten anything so there wasn't anything for her to recycle, but others on the boat for some reason thought it would be a good idea to have the big breakfast that morning.

The crew were kept busy running back and forth carrying empty bags to the passengers and taking full ones outside somewhere (I didn't want to know).

We eventually arrived at the pontoon which was about the size of the boat and a half with a kitchen, changing rooms, showers and a platform to enter the water. 

I was given a very unflattering wet suit which was too small so I asked the girl if she had it in fat size and was given one that was slightly bigger that I managed to squeeze into. Looking around, there were people of all shapes and sizes so I didn't feel too bad. Song had found a spot outside on the pontoon which was very windy but she said it was the best place she could find where she didn't feel sick. I was very disappointed for her, she was really having a bad day. We've been on boats quite a few times and although she hasn't felt the best, it had never been this bad; last year we took a ferry to Rottnest Island in WA and also a speedboat trip to Bruny Island in Tasmania and she wasn't great, but wasn't sick.

I grabbed a mask, snorkel and fins and shuffled into the water - pleasantly surprised at how warm it was. There was a bit of a chill when first getting in, but after a few seconds it was fine. The wet suit was bouyant, and the swell was a bit choppy and it was easy just to float on the surface and let the wind and waves do all the work. 

There was plenty to see, although the coral wasn't too brightly coloured, there were bits that were orange and bright blue, but for the most part it was a brown and green colour. The fish were a different matter - brightly coloured parrot fish, some yellow fish, green ones and a couple of tiny bright blue ones. Obviously I didn't know any of the names except the parrot fish which were easy to identify.

Drifted around for a while, loads of people in the water and got kicked occasionally by some idiot who had no idea what they were doing, acting as if they were the only people out there.

Went back to the boat after a while and the glass-bottomed boat was leaving so I hopped on that - the water was very choppy so Song couldn't do that either. It was a bit boring, designed for non-swimmers; it went out and about and you could see the coral and some fish, but it was better snorkeling. The weather was too bad for the submersible but Song wouldn't have been able to go on that either.

Got back to the boat and lunch was being served, Song couldn't face it but I had a plateful - potato salad, coleslaw, ham and pasta. They had other stuff, not a bad selection.

I sat with Song for a while, she was still bad, then went into the water again. Saw a giant clam, more coral and fish, including some big ones, and then they started to throw feed off the boat so went and watched that from in the water, loads of large fish eating what was being thrown. 

I was in and out a few times, then spotted the Underwater Observatory so thought that's something Song might be able to do - it was pretty stable and had windows onto the reef. Luckily she was OK there so at least managed to see some fish and the coral. While she was there I went back into the water and swam around and she managed to take pictures of me, and I could see her through the window. I dived down a couple of times so she could get pictures, and a woman next to her was waving to me and telling me to dive down again - I felt like a performing seal.

I got out and went to see Song, and the woman apparently thought I was her husband.

Went in again and didn't see anything new so got out for the last time and took off the wet suit with the help of Song. Got dry and sat down, then we were heading back. This time Song had taken a couple of anti-seasick pills the boat had (basically just ginger) and said she didn't feel as bad. She even managed to eat some cheese and crackers that were handed out. The crew gave a couple of presentations; one was a didgeridoo demonstration and another was about the Crown of Thorns starfish, which was interesting.

Arrived back at port, Song managed to keep everything down but couldn't face going back to the restaurant from last night that we'd booked so I cancelled it. I felt really bad that Song felt so ill and didn't get to see much, but we didn't realise she would have such a bad reaction. No cruises for us, we'll have to stick to flights.

Got back to the hotel, had a shower and checked on the cat, then Song was feeling up to eating so just went to a Vietnamese place round the corner. Had to queue for a few minutes, we shared some spring rolls and rice paper rolls, I had vermicelli with beef and Song had Pho. It was OK, not great. Went for a quick walk, I thought about an ice cream but was full so we just went back to the hotel and watched some TV. 

Need to be up at 07:45 tomorrow to get the train up to the rain forest. Hopefully we won't need the sick bags on the train.

Day 2 - Pottering around Cairns

Woke up around 09:00, got ready and went out at about 10:30, into warmth and sunshine. 

Because we came from cold, grey, rainy days the impact of the nice weather was heightened - no gradual change which meant it felt so comfortable and pleasant to be in the warm and sun outside.

Walked around to get a coffee, not many people about, and stumbled across the man made lagoon on the sea front where there were some people swimming and generally lazing around.

Picked up a coffee, most of the cafes were busy with people having brunch and coffee, and then walked through the town to the main shopping centre to get some lunch, fancied some sushi.

It was quite hot in the sun, so kept to the shade.

Grabbed some sushi, then went to check out the train station because we need to be there on Wednesday for our rain forest trip. It's only about 10 minutes from the hotel, Song has booked us into a place that is in the centre of everything. Did a bit of shopping in Woolworths, just fruit and water for the reef trip tomorrow.

Walked back to the hotel, I was hoping to find an ice cream place but we didn't pass any so just went back to the room to chill, literally, putting on the AC.

I watched the rest of World War Z, had a cup of tea, really relaxing to just sit in the room because we're going to be going to the reef tomorrow, rain forest Wednesday then back home Thursday afternoon.

Song checked out a couple of seafood restaurants and we decided to book because there are a lot of people here and it's probably risky to just turn up at these places. There are plenty of restaurants but only 3 or 4 that are decent seafood places so they'd get full quickly.

I decided to head out to get another coffee and would probably accidentally find an ice cream place.

Most of the coffee places were shut, but luckily found an ice cream shop so sat down and had one.

Walked along the seafront and the tide had gone out, for miles. It was mud flats so there wasn't anyone on it. The lagoon had a lot more people around it now.

Wandered along to a different Woolworths to get some milk for the coffee machine and then headed back to the hotel.

Watched some tv then went out for an early dinner because everything after 17:15 was booked. The restaurant was only 5 minutes away and we also found the place we need to be to get the boat to the reef tomorrow.

I ordered the Barramundi and Song had the seafood tower, a selection of stuff. I also had a beer.

The barramundi was on a roast sweet potato and had a little garnish but wasn’t much and wasn’t very hot. Luckily Song’s tower had too much for one person so I helped with the calamari and chips.

Song said hers was very good. A woman sitting behind us was dining alone and ordered Yabbies, ate them all and then complained to the waitress that they weren’t very nice so didn’t want to pay. The manager came over and said nope, so the woman said she’d give a bad review. Based on the fact that the place was packed I don’t think they were too worried. I’m of the opinion that if you’re not happy with your food you can usually tell after a couple of mouthfuls and are within your right to send it back, but to eat most of it and then complain is just trying it on.

I was going to order a dessert but was too full, but Song was so impressed we booked it again for tomorrow.

Walked back to the hotel, the area was buzzing with loads of restaurants and bars all busy. 

I think Cairns has got the tourism thing well-balanced. There are nice restaurants for the up market crowd, but also plenty of bars and pubs for the youngsters to enjoy. It was a really pleasant vibe.

Got back to the hotel and checked on the cat, watched some TV then to bed - got to be up early for the reef trip tomorrow.

Day 1 - Off to Sunny Cairns

We’re heading off to Queensland for a short trip to visit the reef and the rain forest and to get away from the Melbourne winter.

Flight is at 14:55 so don’t have to get up early, but we still left a bit later than I planned. 

Still made it to the airport with plenty of time, through security and grabbed a coffee before heading to the gate which was the furthest from the main bit so hoped they wouldn’t change it at the last minute.

When we tried to go to Western Australia during the pandemic they weighed our bags and because we were overweight had to pay $60. We were on the plane when I got a news alert that WA were closing the borders and we’d be turned away when we got there so decided to get off the plane. And we never got our $60 back.

This time the queue was long so they didn’t bother to weigh our bags but I think we were under weight having learnt our lesson.

Got on the plane only to find that the seats I’d paid extra for were not the ones we were allocated – I’d deliberately booked 2 aisle seats but they changed the plane to a smaller one and now we had 2 together and I was sat in the middle; something I wanted to avoid. I hate Jetstar. We were also right at the back next to the toilets so had the pleasure of lots of people walking past with their kids and the sound of flushing every 5 minutes.

The plane filled up and there were loads of toddlers, which was annoying because it wasn’t long before they all started crying.

We were about at takeoff time when the pilot came on and said there was a technical problem and the engineer had to have a look. Oh, and it was change over time so there would be a delay. Oh, and then they would have to do paperwork so that would take a while. I hate Jetstar.

Left about 45 minutes later, I watched a movie (Wanted) and started another (World War Z) and then we were on our way down to land.

We were right at the back so were ready to make a quick getaway out of the rear door where we got on, then the announcement came that only the front door would be used, so we ended up being the second last off. I really hate Jetstar.

The warm air hit us as we exited the plane, the ground was wet but wasn’t raining at the moment. Since we always only travel with hand luggage we skipped the baggage collection and went straight to the taxi queue which was about 20 deep. It was moving reasonably fast as taxis came along, but it wasn’t long before the queue had over 100 people in it. Only took about 10 minutes, then we were heading into town and the rain came hammering down. And then stopped. And then started again. And then stopped.

It kept doing this all evening. Got to the hotel and were told we had been given a wheelchair accessible room which just meant the bathroom was bigger – we had been given one before in Minsk and I remembered the shower head was about shoulder height and we had to ask to be moved, but the receptionist said this one was normal height.

Room was nice, spacious and clean, free tea and coffee (love a freebie), but a packet of biscuits was $16 so didn’t think we’d bother with anything out of the mini bar.

There was a nice big TV but it was mounted on the wall to the side of the bed, which made lying in bed to watch it uncomfortable. I tried moving it to see if it was on a pivot but didn’t seem like it and I didn’t want to accidentally rip it off the wall. I’d brought along a cable so that I could attach my laptop to the TV but all the ports were flush against the wall so bang went that idea.

Anyway, dumped the gear and went out for dinner, it was now nearly 20:00 and looking at Google a lot of the restaurants shut at 21:00. Walked to a seafood place that Google said was good, then realised I’d gone the wrong way so turned around. It was only a couple of minutes from the hotel but managed to rain and stop a couple of times (I’d actually remembered to take the umbrella).

Song had bugs (think mini-lobsters) in garlic butter with a spinach and mashed potato veggie thing, I had salt and pepper calamari with a pine-nut, roasted capsicum and rocket salad. Both were good. We also had a baguette and dips to share to start, and I had a beer.

The couple next to us had confit of duck and a steak, which I thought was a bit weird – going to a seafood restaurant and not ordering seafood.

Wandered around for a little bit, the area was busy, obviously lots of people escaping the cold weather down south.

Watched a bit of TV on the laptop, checked on the cat using the webcams at home – we also bought an internet connected treat dispenser so we could feed the cat from anywhere in the world and watch her eat (is that sad? I don’t think it’s sad).

Bed was comfy so didn’t take long to fall asleep, although each power socket had an annoying blue LED light which was quite bright.

Lazy day tomorrow, nothing booked, we’re just going to wander around and relax.